Over the last few days I have had a few emails from someone with a hard luck story to tell(not that I am down on this person in any way)and it's tough without knowing all the facts,just what to say.
But this much is certain:
Each
Seeker of Truth must realize that the first priority isn't conversion,it's reorientation(to Torah)!
If you are coming from a Christian,or other Pagan background,or even coming back to being an Observant-Jew,the first task is:
- Conforming to Torah and Orthodox-Jewish Halachah
The second task is(this could actually be the first,but,no matter,let it stand):
- Deciding not to follow after your own Eyes and Heart.
The third task is:
- Rinse and Repeat the Cycle to Perfection!
At some point,in the future,it may be possible to convert to Judaism,but,especially if it would put you in a mixed marriage(a marriage between a Jew and a non-Jew,which is forbidden in the Torah),it can not be done,in which case,you will have to live as a 'righteous non-Jew'.